As a counsellor, Richard has encountered many people who wish their life was different and better. They may wish they were not so sensitive or controlled by their emotions; they may wish their relationships were more loving or they wish they were able to be more assertive; they may wish they did not struggle with certain habits or that they could lose weight and get fitter; and on and on the list goes. Some may feel they have tried “everything”, and come to a place of resignation. Others have not tried anything, simply tolerating how things are, unaware that things could be better than they currently are. In other words, they believe “this is as good as it gets”. When we have a desire for change but an inability to create that change, it is a source of immense frustration or despondency.
Our beliefs about change and about ourselves often do not help, either. Some people believe that change is possible for others but, for some reason, just not them. Some believe that people do not really change. These beliefs are further reinforced by different narratives people create about why change is elusive. Some people point inwardly, saying, “This is just the way I am. It's my personality type.” Others point outwardly to other people or circumstances, saying, “Until they change there is nothing I can do.”
People may feel powerless to internal or external forces, but the reality is they have far more power to change their state than they realise. Hope for change returns when they discover how wrong these beliefs are, and how limiting they have been.
What we know is that being centred enables a person to have the clear-headed ability to choose a response or course of action that is constructive and healthy long-term. This occurs because internal, emotional pressures that were threatening a person's sense of “okay-ness” have been removed. This is my hope for you, that you will become more balanced, and thrive in the life you have been given. I hope you will discover your irrefutable value, significance, acceptability and love-ability, and become centred.